As their name may suggest, Millions of Dead Cops are extreme, ruthless and, most of the time, very fucking fast. Compared to their eponymous debut (which rampages through 14 tracks in 20 minutes), Hey Cop is well-rounded: it brings a bit more of measured, moody feel with Black Christmas and Millions of Dead Cops, but the MDC Speedometer still reads pretty damn high with the help of tracks like Cockrocker, Mark of the Farmer and Lambada Me. I know the whole holy-shit-this-must-be-the-fastest-song-in-the-world claim has gotten pretty boring to you by now, but sorry fuckers!! MDC’s king of the ladder for me. And maybe it might have made the most sense to review their debut first instead of Hey Cop, MDC’s 5^th album released in the dubious era of the 1990s – but this was the first I’d heard of MDC (their album art certainly helped me decide which record I was putting on the turntable next), so it holds a special place in my heart. Seeing as I’m only the one writing and reading this shit, I can do whatever the fuck I want! Fuck teachers and cops!!!!!!!!!!!!

Packed full of hard, American grit, the opening track Millions of Dead Cops feels intimidatory in its steady, strong pace and prowling ‘Hollywood-Babylon’-esque bassline, Dave Dictor’s vocal rough and tough, like a bad-guy cowboy. But don’t let this track mislead you like it did me; MDC declare their hardcore edge and speed in the next track Mark of the Farmer and (my favourite) Gig and Die in LA… Electric chortles and churns, metal clatters and toms pound as they fall all about, drumming frantic and furious, vocals brutish and fierce and fucking fast – MDC are angry, alarming and exciting. DON’T SHOOT!

US War #54 is another of MDC’s measured-but-menacing tracks as its firm electric chords drag and keel back, snares chanting and riffs hanging high. The sprightly Beat Somebody Up and Nowhere to Go show MDC’s ‘melodic’ side (feels like a bit of a taboo word and it really shouldn’t) with its gripping incline in guitar and slinking bassline, and If I Had a Face‘s quick surf guitar riffs and swift drum rolls really resembles the Dead Kennedys to me. Saying that, I also really like Side B’s Moneypile because it feels like a classic 70s punk anthem – and that’s what I mean by describing Hey Cop as multifaceted. Instead of being an 80s hardcore punk band who release some fierce, fast records at first but then run out of steam by the 90s, devolving down the usual route of either clean rock or the cringeworthy hybrid of bubblegum-pop-meets-a-couple-of-electric-guitars, MDC take a cue from bands like The Damned and start playing what they want, but without totally neglecting the anatomy of their original sound.

I’m not 100% sure yet, but I think Black Christmas, Side B’s last track, is supposed to be the song that absolutely everyone hates because it’s slow, the singing’s clean, and it’s four fucking minutes long. Most of the time I would lovingly be part of that crowd of ignorant, unenlightened arseholes, but on this occasion I really like Black Christmas and its darkened, cloudy mood: the bass is heavy and the reverb on the vocals envelopes you, like an overcast rainy evening.

I quite like that I listened to this album before their first; I think it creates an unfair bias to constantly compare later albums to a band’s first release. Hearing Hey Cop before anything else of MDC made sure I knew a lot more about what they could sound like, before casting a judgement on an album full of one kind of sound. Yeah, most of the songs I like all sound the same, but even I enjoy a bit of variety once in a while. As long as it has nothing to do with a clean sounding guitar.