THE INSANE – POLITICS

While it can be quite distracting trying to work out whether the drummer’s snare is made out of a giant piece of cheese or a packet of Walkers crisps, it is indisputable that The Insane’s Politics is a mighty track. Who even cares if they’re playing actual instruments (or if they’re in tune), because the pace, punch, attack – and sound clips of Thatcher – in Politics get you on your feet. When they say formulas always work they really aint lying, because The Insane’s usual bout of abrasive distortion, ‘boingy’ snare and bass hooks you can sink your teeth into, never disappoint.

THE BLOOD - MEGALOMANIA

It may look like I’m a lazy arsehole for not writing for this long, but in actuality, you’ll find that I’m a lazy arsehole who can’t write either – I’ve tried for the last two weeks to review one of my favourite albums of all fucking time, but I’ve been completely unable to illustrate one gram of the justice it deserves. Instead of trying to make that review readable, I moved out to university, leaving behind my precious records, and started drinking supermarket-brand Strongbow every night. My lack of punk records led me to the unthinkable: playing the likes of The Cure, The Police and Joy Division in my room – and this has continued up until this morning when I woke up and realised that these songs were much too articulate, intelligent and sentimental to be coming out of my bedroom. Here’s to my epiphany, following my six day hiatus from hardcore punk: an ace song by The Blood, Megalomania. I wish I knew what he was saying though.

T.D.A. - T.D.A.

My new ‘100% Hardcore Punk‘ compilation CD containing, you guessed it, 40 hardcore-punk classics, has bestowed on me a few hardcore gems I’d never heard of before. Amongst the raucousness though, one quick, straight-to-the-point, crudely distorted, and incomprehensible beauty stood out to me, which is of course, T.D.A.. What the fuck does T.D.A. even mean? I don’t know!

A-HEADS – DYING MAN

I’m sure you’ll all be devastated by a pre-Rebellion-review spoiler, but I missed seeing the A-Heads because I was in the fucking chip shop! In my drunken and bruised stupor, I’d forgotten that I was supposed to rush off after GBH had finished to catch the last half of their set, so instead, I weeped into my chips and gravy. I would’ve loved to hear Dying Man live and as some kind of cruel punishment, I’ve had it stuck in my head all week.

THE PARTISANS – MINDLESS VIOLENCE

Yeah yeah yeah, I know. At first I thought too that I couldn’t really have The Partisans as my single of the weeks twice in a row, but then I thought for a second longer and realised I can do whatever the fuck I want!! And really, it would be dishonest of me to choose any other track because I’ve been playing the shit out of this song for the last week, so in that case, you’re… welcome? Mindless Violence is now my favourite Partisans track, because of its hooking riff pounding out at a jaunty, trotting pace, and because the way Spike says ‘pool of blood’ is funny. It’s one of those ones you buy an entire album for.

THE PARTISANS – 17 YEARS OF HELL

This track has that special grip few bands can achieve with such a long (well, 2:50… anything longer than that is practically the Bohemian Rhapsody to me now), neatly repetitive song – because it carries this melancholic ire I can’t get enough of. Toms and snares hammer and pound through the electric riff, which is both sullen and metallic, vocals coursing with grey grit as the silver of cymbals rain down. Best thing I created when I was seventeen was a killer snakebite made of 7% lager and 8% K cider, which made my legs stop working. Maybe in a parallel universe, I wrote a song as good as this instead.

THE INSANE – LAST DAY

Another gem discovered amongst the realms of incomprehensible punk. This time round, Last Day is seismic with rumbling distortion, sporting a snare that sounds almost diabolical as it spats along (you’ll know what I mean when you hear it) and a hard riff you really can’t get out of your head. I heard this first from the Punk and Disorderly Collection and man is that drum-kit an anomaly, even for punk. Maybe next week I’ll have a song for you with actual instruments in. Don’t hold me to it though.

THE STENCH – ADOPTION

Taken from their 7” Moral Debauchery – described by Ian Glasper in Burning Britain as “badly recorded and played” by a band that’s “musically poor” – I needed no more persuading. Introducing what must be the most disgusting guitar sound I have ever heard in my life (a fucking great achievement given my fondness of “lo-fi” punk): – Adoption‘s been playing in my house all week. Digging further on YouTube I managed to find another Stench track called ECT, and although it’s not my single of the week, I’ll have to include it because it is honestly astonishing how many instruments are played with complete ignorance to each other. Who said punk wasn’t inspiring?